I'll keep your memory vague
by LoZa
Summary: Lorelai/Luke story set after the events of 'Partings'. What would have happened if Luke had understood what Lorelai did, but Chris just would not let her forget it? M rating for later violence.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N. I know this whole avenue has been explored heaps, but this is a different variation to the events that followed in 'Partings'. Don't be put off my the first few chapters...it really is a Luke/Lorelai story I promise! And a word of warning...This is probably not the story for you if you are a Christopher fan. Don't say I didn't warn you! M rating for some mature themes later on._

* * *

Chapter 1

He could literally feel his heart breaking as he watched her walk quickly away from him. Her usual bouncy walk replaced by one that he could tell was filled with disappointment. What the hell was he thinking? The woman he had wished was his for so long had just stood in front of him, and in all the time that he had known her he had never seen her look so vulnerable. The woman who was always so strong. The woman who never needed help from anybody. The woman who hated letting anybody see her cry; especially him. The woman he was pretty sure he had loved for years before they finally got together had just walked out of his life for good.

He hated ultimatums, and that was exactly what she had come to him with.

He sighed painfully as she disappeared out of view. What was he still doing standing here? He should be running after her, telling her he's sorry, telling her that he loves her, telling her that he absolutely will marry her right now. He knew all this, and yet his feet were still rooted to the ground.

Lorelai Gilmore had stood in front of him, asking him to marry her tonight...and he had rejected her.

She looked at him, eyes wide with emotion, and pleaded with him to please marry her now.

It almost didn't feel real, what had happened tonight. Actually none of it seemed real. If she had asked him to marry her the night of their first date he probably would have said yes to her. So why on earth had he said no to her now?

Their relationship had changed, and he knew that. He knew he was the cause of it too. He had been pushing Lorelei away for months, and he had no idea why. She had done nothing but support him, give him space, love him. She had done nothing wrong, and now it seemed he was punishing her for it?

He had made a terrible mistake...

Of course he wanted to marry her. There was nothing more in the world he wanted to do than to call her his wife. To wake up next to her everyday. To live in the house they had renovated together. To have the life they had planned together...

He began to run. His legs felt shaky at first, but he soon got into the rhythm. His feet pounded on the road beneath him. He had to get to her. He had to tell her he had made a mistake. This was all his fault.

As he rounded the corner and her house came into view, he saw her jeep pulling out from the driveway. 'No' he said to himself, picking up the speed of his run.

She reversed out onto the road, and drove away at a greater speed than she normally did.

She hadn't seen him. Hadn't seen him running towards her with his hand in the air. Hadn't heard him yelling her name as took off.

He had seen her though. He could see her clearly through the drivers window. He had seen his beautiful fiancee, her dark curls perfectly framing her usually smiling face. But she wasn't smiling tonight...

Instead, she was crying.

* * *

She drove around aimlessly for what felt like hours, struggling to see through the tears that had been clouding her eyes since she left Stars Hollow. Since she left Luke. Since she left their engagement, their wedding and their life.

She didn't understand what she had done wrong. She had tried not to push him too much. To give the space that she could tell he needed. She tried not to get too upset at the fact he hadn't told her about his daughter. She tried not to feel angry towards him at the fact that the whole town knew April, and he still wouldn't even let the two of them meet! She had honestly thought that she had done a good job at keeping her emotions in check when she was around him. She had tried her hardest to keep their relationship together, to keep it normal, to keep herself in high spirits about their upcoming wedding. But ever since April walked into his life, she knew something was missing.

And that was something was him.

She pulled the jeep over, wiping at her eyes as she did so. She hopped out, and headed towards what looked like some sort of pub. She had no idea where she was or how she had got here. She didn't recall any of the roads she had driven on, or any signs that she had passed. She walked into the dark place, the smell of cigarettes and booze almost overpowering. She headed straight to bar, asking for a vodka double. She downed it in one long sip, passed the bartender some cash and told him to keep them coming.

The heavy pain that she had felt only moments ago began to feel lighter and lighter with each sip she took.

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_Please read and review. Let me know what you guys think! Thanks. )_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She hadn't been at work for 5 days. No one had seen her in 5 days. No one had heard from her in 5 days. Luke rang her cell phone continuously, but it was always switched off. He was starting to panic.

He knew she was angry at him that night and he knew she was upset, but this was unlike her. Just taking off without telling anyone like this. It was beginning to scare him.

He went over to her house every night, hoping to see her pulling into the driveway, with some kind of explanation of where she had been for the past few days. But unfortunately, he had no such luck. On the fifth night, he tried ringing her cell phone again. It was still switched off. He decided it was time. He wished he didn't have to call her, but if anybody would know where she was, it would be her. Even if she hated him too by now, if she knew where Lorelei was he needed to talk to her.

"Hello..." a sleepy voice said.

"Oh hey Rory. I'm sorry for waking you up..." Luke said shaking his head. He had forgotten how late it was.

"Luke? Is everything ok?" she asked concerned, instantly sounding more alert.

_This is strange_ Luke thought to himself. He was so sure Rory would have been upset at him, just like her mother was.

"Luke..?" she asked again.

"Oh yeah sorry. I was just wondering if you've heard from your mother at all?"

"Mom? No not for a few days. I tried ringing yesterday but her cell was off and there was no one home." she paused, and Luke could hear her voice shift into panic mode. "Is she ok? Has something happened?"

"Um...I don't know exactly. We had a...uh.." Luke tried to choose his words carefully. "A bit of a disagreement, and I haven't heard from her in a few days. I was so sure she would have contacted you."

"No, no she hasn't. She just took off? What about Sookie, or the Inn?"

"No ones seen or heard from her..." Luke said sadly.

"Well I'll keep trying ok? Don't worry Luke, I'm sure she's fine." Rory said confidently, more for her own sake than his.

"Yeah ok, thanks Rory. I'll keep in touch ok?"

"Ok. Bye Luke."

Rory hung up the phone and laid back down in her bed. She picked up the phone again dialling her mothers cell. Still switched off. This was very strange. She knew her Mom and Luke were having a few little issues, but she also knew how much she loved Luke. Something pretty bad must have happened for her to do something like this. The last time she took off like this was...well their last road trip together...before she was meant to marry Max.

Rory sat straight up in bed, the phone falling out of her hands and onto the floor.

She knew exactly where her mother had gone.

* * *

The next morning, Rory was awake earlier than she usually was. She felt like she hardly slept at all last night. She just could not shut her brain off after Luke's worried phone call. During all her tossing and turning last night, she thought long and hard about what the best thing to do was. If her Mom had taken off without telling her, Sookie or Luke where she was going...she obviously didn't want to be found. But Rory also knew what her Mother was like sometimes, her thought processes. She was the most stubborn person she had ever met, and once she made up her mind about something it was often hard to sway her. Rory tossed and turned some more before hopping quickly out of bed and throwing on some clothes. She was the only one that might be able to talk some sense in to her.

Lorelei jumped as she felt someone's hand wrap around her waist. Her eyes fluttered open, and she realised that she was in a room she didn't recognise. This was not her room. This was not her house. This was not Luke's apartment. She went to lift her head up, but the pain that seared through it was too unbearable.

"Morning Lor..." a husky voice whispered in her ear.

She turned her head cautiously, looking back to see who it was that was talking to her. It wasn't Luke, she knew that for sure. There was only one person she knew who called her Lor...

"Christopher..?" she asked groggily. She looked up at him, his eyes staring at her intently.

"How are you feeling this morning...?" he asked soothingly, touching her face with his fingers.

"What are you..." Lorelei sat up quickly, pushing his hands off her. She pulled the sheets up around her, self-consciously noticing that she was topless. "What the hell am I doing here Chris?"

"You don't remember?" he asked, a little taken back.

She shook her head no, and she could feel her eyes burning, stinging as they began to fill with tears.

"You rang me last night from that pub. You said you'd had a major fight with Luke. You weren't too far away from here, so i took a cab...and when i got there you were really smashed. You told me you needed someone to talk to. A place to crash for a while...So I drove you and your car back here."

Lorelai felt her entire stomach flip as she heard him mention Luke. Luke...she had a fight with Luke...and now she was in bed with Christopher. She instantly felt ashamed as she remembered that she didn't have a shirt on. What was she thinking? Her stomach flipped again, but this time it was last nights alcohol.

"Bathroom?" she asked him, and he pointed to a door on her left.

She got up gingerly, walked in and shut the door behind her. She splashed some water on her face, but it did nothing. She took one look at her reflection in the mirror, before she threw up into the sink.

A few moments later she could here Chris tapping lightly on the door.

"Lorelai...are you alright?"

When he got no answer, he opened the door slowly. He found her sitting on the floor of the bathroom, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She was shivering and crying softly.

"Shh...it's going to be ok..." he said, dropping to the floor and putting his hands on her bare shoulders.

"Come on, your freezing" he said, feeling the coldness of her skin against his hands. "Come on Lor...hop off the floor."

He took her hands and pulled her up so she was standing. She immediately took her hands back and wrapped her arms protectively around her breasts.

"Are you ok?" he asked again.

She shrugged, her eyes beginning to water all over again.

"Why don't you go back to bed huh? Your exhausted, and your sick. Go and get some more rest."

She followed him back to the bedroom in a daze, and hopped back into his bed. He grabbed one of his t-shirts off the floor and to put on her. She lifted her arms obediently. He gently laid her down and pulled the covers tightly around her.

"I'm going to get you some water and a aspirin ok?" he said softly.

She nodded her head, relaxing back into the pillows a bit.

When he came back with the water, she had already passed out again. He left the water and the aspirin bottle next to her, watching her as she slept peacefully. He kissed the top of her head lovingly, before going to get him self some breakfast.

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_So...what do u think... )_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rory sat outside her father's house, finishing off her morning coffee in the car. As soon as she had pulled up and saw her mother's jeep in the driveway, her heart sank. How did she know that she would end up here? Probably because this is where she always ends up. She always end up with the man that has managed to wreck every relationship that she has ever been in. Rory knew her father meant well, but sometimes he just didn't think.

She sighed, checking her watch again. It was still still early, not even 8am yet. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to go in there or not. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know what was going on inside that house. She downed the rest of her coffee before slowly opening the door and getting out of the car. She was here now...she may as well go inside and get her mother's explanation about what had happened. She was really hoping that Lorelai had just come here out of friendship, and nothing else. Chris was her mother's oldest friend, and she knew that. But she also knew that her mother had this way of falling back into sync with him. Rory may have only been a teenager when he would occasionally come and stay with them, but she knew that her mother and Chris would often sleep together...even when they were seeing other people. She never really understood it back then, but as she grew older she realized the self-destructive relationship they seemed to share with one another.

But this time was different. It had to be. This was Luke they were talking about. Luke, the guy who had pined over Lorelai for years. Luke, who had always been there for both Lorelai and Rory. Luke, her mothers best friend. Luke, the man that loved Lorelai so much...the man that wanted to marry her. Things had to be different this time. They just had to be...

She rang the doorbell quickly, taking a step back as she waited on the porch anxiously.

The door swung open, and Rory could tell from the look on her father's face that he wasn't entirely pleased to see her.

"Rory...this is a surprise. I didn't know you were coming over." he stammered.

"Yeah well I was just in the area" she lied. "Are you going to invite me in?"

"Um...I don't know I'm kind of busy..."

Rory sighed, shaking her head at how stupid he must think she is.

"Where is she? I know she's here, her cars outside. I want to see her." Rory demanded.

"Look, your Mom's still asleep ok. She's not feeling too well and..."

Rory scoffed and pushed past her father and into his house.

"Mom..." she yelled into the quiet house. "Mom I know your here..."

"Rory...calm down ok." Chris said, taking hold of her shoulders and leading her into the kitchen.

"Calm down? Do you realise that no one has heard from her for 5 days? Do you realize that Luke, her fiancee has been going out of his mind worrying about her...?"

"Yeah well maybe your Mom and Luke aren't getting married after all..." Chris said quietly.

Rory's face fell, and she sat heavily on one of his kitchen stools.

"What do you mean?" she asked shakily.

"Look, I don't know where your mother's been for the last few days because I only picked her up last night. She rang me to come and get her, so I did." He looked over at his daughter, not sure whether he should go on. She nodded at him to continue. "She was at this bar, and by the time I got there she was completely hammered. I wandered around the place for a while, until I spotted her in the corner of the room starting to get cosy with some guy."

Rory sighed, putting on a brave face. "Oh yeah. Where they...I mean?"

"No they weren't kissing or anything but this guy had his hands all over her. So I dragged her away and brought her back here. She went on and on about how Luke didn't want to marry her, how he didn't love her anymore, and how she didn't understand how she could have screwed things up so badly."

"What?" Rory asked, confusion evident in her voice. "That doesn't make any sense. Luke loves her. Luke has waited around for her for years. He wouldn't just leave her like that..."

Chris just shrugged, not looking to concerned at the matter. Rory studied her father a bit more, before asking the question she knew she had to.

"And what happened when you got back here?"

Chris stayed quiet, not sure what he was supposed to say to her. He hadn't planned for this to happen.

"You slept with her didn't you?" Rory asked pointedly.

Chris was shocked. "What your mother and I do is none of your business Rory..." he snapped.

"It is too! You've always done this. You come back for a few days and Mom is happy. But you never see the fall back. You never hear her crying and you don't see her miserable. You have no idea what you leave behind. You can't just waltz into our lives whenever you feel like it. Its not fair to Mom, it's not fair to me, and it's definitely not fair to Luke." Rory voice began to get louder.

"Hey she came to me Rory. She sat there, begging me to make her feel better. She begged me to love her..."

"Luke loves her!" Rory shouted.

"Well it sounds like Luke isn't the fantastic guy you both thought he was.." Chris shot back.

"Yeah well he's a better guy than you will ever be..." Rory said quietly, getting up and heading toward the bedroom. "I'm taking her home now."

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Lorelai woke with a start, hearing voices outside the room. She sat up quickly, trying to make out who it was that was talking. Was that Rory? She got up quickly, the wave of nausea coming back over her. She ran back to the bathroom, emptying what was left in her stomach into the sink. She cleaned herself up, heading back to listen the conversation outside.

She heard Rory yelling. Getting upset at her Dad for coming back into their lives whenever he felt like it. Their voices were muffled. She heard the words Mom, miserable and Luke.

She then heard Christopher's voice clearly, and she instantly wished she hadn't. _"Hey she came to me Rory. She sat there, begging me to make her feel better. She begged me to love her..."_

Lorelai fell back onto the bed, he hand over her mouth. She had done this? Had she initiated all of this? She honestly had no recollection of what had happened last night. As the conversation got louder outside, she tried to think back to last night. Her stomach felt like it was in knots because she could only remember one thing. She was in love with Luke...

"Mom..." Rory burst into the room.

"What are you doing here hun?" Lorelai asked getting up from the bed.

Rory looked at her mother, taking in how she looked at this moment. Dressed in Christopher's T-shirt and her underwear, dark circles under her eyes, her face pale and her hair limp.

"How could you?" Rory asked softly.

Lorelai said nothing, just felt tears in her eyes as she saw how disappointed Rory looked right now.

"I'm sorry...' she stammered, reaching out to her daughter.

Rory stepped back, picking her mothers dress up off the floor and throwing it at her.

"Get dressed. I'll meet you out the front."

Lorelai had never heard her daughter sound so threatening before. She nodded, scared that Rory might yell at her if she didn't do what she said.

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_I know... everybody is acting out of character. Please read and review to let me know what you think! _


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Hey...thanks for the reviews. Glad your enjoying it so far. And just letting you all know I have no intentions of Lorelai being pregnant with Chris' baby or anything like that. ) Please keep reading and I hope you enjoy it. _

Chapter 4

Rory pulled up behind her mother in their driveway back at Stars Hollow. She had let her mother drive there alone, but she had kept her jeep in sight the entire trip back. There was no way she was risking her running off again. Driving back to Stars Hollow alone had given them both some time to cool off a bit.

Once the two were inside, Rory went into her 'mom' mode.

"Are you feeling ok? Are you hungry? Do you want some coffee? No you probably don't want coffee...maybe just water? Or did you want to have a shower or something..."

Lorelai grabbed her daughters shoulder's, pulling her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Rory. I'm sorry you had to come and get me." she said quietly.

"Mom, it's ok, honestly. Yale will be fine without me for a day."

"Well I just want to say thanks. Thanks for finding me. Thanks for getting me out of there." She pulled back, looking her daughter in the eyes. "Your a great kid for doing that."

"I didn't have much choice Mom. Luke was really worried about where you were. And once he called me, I just got really scared..."

"Luke called you?" Lorelai asked surprised.

"Of course he did. You disappeared for almost a week without telling anybody. What did you think he was going to do?"

"Almost a week?" she repeated, hardly believing it.

"I think about 5 days..." Rory replied, noticing her Mother's confused expressions. "You don't remember do you..."

Lorelai said nothing, just sat down on the couch in shock.

"Mom, what day is it?"

"Umm, I don't know." She tried to do the calculation in her head. "Monday?"

Rory sat down next to her and put a hand on her knee. "It's Thursday..." she said softly.

Lorelai sighed. "I don't remember anything. I don't remember where I went that night or what I was doing. I certainly don't remember going back home with Chris and I don't remember getting into bed with him. The last thing I remember was the fight with Luke..."

"The fight with Luke..." Rory repeated.

"Yeah. It was stupid I guess. The other night I told him that I wanted to get married..."

"I think he probably knew that from the whole proposal thing..." Rory said smiling, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Lorelai smiled, but it was only for a second. "No, I said wanted to get married right then, that night. I told him that if he really wanted to marry me then he would elope with me, right then and there."

"Oh mom..." Rory said, putting a comforting hand on her back.

"He said nothing. Looked at me as if I was crazy. I know I was probably acting crazy, but the thing is, we were engaged. Its not such a crazy suggestion if it comes from the person you agreed to marry is it?" she was babbling now.

"No of course it isn't. You probably just took him by surprise that's all..." Rory looked at the tears pooling in her mothers eyes, hating that this was happenning. "He hasnt been showing much of an interest in getting married, has he?"

Lorelai shook her head, the tears falling freely now. "He wouldn't set a date. Every time I mentioned the wedding, he would close off. Every time I mentioned, the food or the cake, or a venue, he just shut down. And the dress...that dress has been hanging in my closet for the last 4 months mocking me...Its saying _he doesn't want to marry you Lorelai..._over and over again."

"He does...He does want to marry you though." Rory held her sobbing mother tight. "He has been so worried about you...he loves you. He always has and you know that."

"I know he always has loved me Rory. But I'm beginning to think that now he's actually got me...he's not so interested anymore. Maybe he liked the banter you know, and the looks and the flirting for all those years. Maybe he liked the 'idea' of having me more than actually being in a relationship with me..."

"Mom, that's insane. Luke is not like that. The way he looks at you...everybody knows how much he loves you, how much he cares about you. You need to talk to him. Tell him about how you've been feeling. Ask him all the questions you just asked me now?"

Lorelai nodded, gripping onto her daughter's hand tight.

"Your right. That's exactly what we need to do. We need to talk... I'll go and see him first thing tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lorelai stood looking in at the diner from behind the gazebo. Luke's truck was outside, and she was just trying to see if she could spot him when Babette came up behind her.

"Oh sugar where have you been?" she screeched.

"Just on a little trip" Lorelai replied, slightly rolling her eyes at how nosy everybody in this town was.

"Everything's ok I hope?"

"Oh yeah Babette, everything's fine."

Babette smiled, and began to walk past Lorelai when she quickly turned back to her.

"In case your wondering...Luke's up in his apartment, not in the diner. Has been up there for days. Only comes out for a couple of hours each night to sit on your front porch..."

Lorelai smiled sadly, unaware that Luke had been at her place every night waiting for her.

"Thanks Babette" she said quickly, walking towards the diner.

She muttered her 'hellos' to people in the diner, before telling Caesar she was going upstairs. Once she actually got up there, her nerves began to get the better of her. Her hands were shaking, her heart was pounding, and she felt sick to the stomach again. She exhaled deeply, before knocking lightly on the door.

"Who is it?" she heard him call gruffly.

She paused, her throat so dry she wasn't sure if when she opened her mouth anything was going to come out.

"It's me." she said quietly. "It's Lorelai."

She heard heavy steps coming towards the door, and she felt herself step back slightly. He was mad. She could tell. She should turn away now. The door swung open and it was too late. Luke looked at her strangely as she was caught mid step in the opposite direction to his door.

"Going somewhere..?" he asked.

"Uh..I didn't know if you were here..." she said, suddenly feeling very flushed.

"You heard me say who is it" he said, his eyes narrowing down on her.

She shuffled uncomfortably under his pointed stare. "Oh yeah. I guess I did." She flashed him a smile, trying to distract him from the fact that she was mking a complete idiot out of herself.

He pulled her towards him, wrapping her up in his arms. He nestled his face into her hair.

"Where have you been Lorelai?" he asked softly. "I've been so worried."

She felt his whole body tighten around her, and it was almost enough to make her forget about everything.

"Lorelai...?" he asked.

"Can we talk about this inside?" she asked meekly.

"Sure" he nodded, worry etched into his face.

She sighed, following him into the apartment. She just wished she knew what exactly she was going to say to him...

"So...Rory told me you called her..." she started shakily.

"I know I probably shouldn't have. I was just so sure that you would have called her." He led her to the kitchen table, moioning for her to sit down.

She sat at the table, hating the way he was looking at her right now. She was such a horrible person. She didn't deserve to have him looking at her like that. Like she was the most important person in the world.

"I wish I could tell you where I was the last few days, but I honestly don't remember."

"You don't remember?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah. I remember seeing you, and I remember Rory picking me up, but that's about it."

"Did something happen?" he asked, immediately springing into panic.

"No, No nothing like that." she said, silently hating herself. _Nothing happened...yeah right Lorelai. Something horrible and completely stupid happened remember...? _She dropped her head, not wanting to look at him. "I think there may have been a fair bit of alcohol involved."

"Oh Lorelai..." he said soothingly, placing his hand over hers on the table. "Are you ok?"

She sighed, hating that he was feeling concern for her right now. She wanted him to get mad at her, yell at her. Ask her why she had been so stupid...so irresponsible.

"I'm ok, really."

"I'm sorry about the other night. I do want to marry you Lorelai. I wasn't telling you that I didn't want to be with you. Its just, you kind of sprung that on me and I didn't get a chance to think." It all poured out of him in one long ramble. He took a breath, knowing he had so much more to say.

She opened her mouth to stop him but he just continued on.

"I should have said yes that night. I wanted to say yes. I just got stuck in my own head and before I knew it I had lost you. I've been a complete jerk to you the past few months. I've completely ignored you and..."

He stopped in his tracks as he felt her finger brush against his lips.

"Please stop Luke. Please don't." she whispered.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

" I did something terrible the other night."

She saw him hold his breath, and she suddenly felt cold all over. He silently took his hand off of hers.

"I...I went to Christopher." she stammered, and she could already see the hurt in his eyes. "That's were Rory found me..."

He gulped back he hard lump that had formed in his throat. He looked at her hoping she wasn't going to say what he thought she was. The look on her face however, said it all.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Her eyes filled with tears, and she hated that she was doing this to him. This wasn't her. _This was so not her._

"I think so..." she whispered, tears now trickling down her face.

"What do you mean you think so..." he spat out, confused as ever. He looked at her sad eyes, watching her cry openly in front of him.

"You don't remember it?" he asked softly.

She shook her head no, knowing that that was no excuse.

"He didn't... Did he take advantage of you..." Luke asked angrily, looking directly at her.

"No...Don't make excuses for me Luke." she said quickly, getting up from the table. "I did this. I don't expect you to ever forgive me ok? I did a terrible thing to someone that I love very much. You have every right to hate me, and I understand if you never want to see me again."

With that, she took one last look at him before turning and heading straight out his door.

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_A different Luke reaction than expected maybe? Please read and review... D_

_Next chapter has everybody's favourite Chris returning... the M rating really begins to kick in as well.  
_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N Just a warning that things start to turn ugly here. Oh, and when I said in the last chapter about 'everybody's favourite chris returning'...in my mind I was being sarcastic. Turns out my sarcasm doesn't always have a clear effect when you are reading it on a computer screen. Ooops! )_

Chapter 6

She walked home quickly, not noticing anything or anyone around her. She reached the front door quickly, shutting it behind her. She stood with her back against the door, sighing loudly. She had screwed everything up so badly.

"Mom..." Rory's voice came from the kitchen.

Lorelai wiped the tears from her face and eyes, composing herself before walking in to meet her daughter.

"How did it go?" Rory asked quietly.

"Well...you know..."

Rory watched her mother slump into her chair, seeing her tear stained cheeks and her red eyes.

"He'll come around..." she said, no knowing what else to say.

Lorelai nodded, forcing a small smile onto her face for Rory's sake.

"Please, go back to school hun..." she said, once she noticed Rory with the open text books in front of her.

"No, Mom I can stay a little while longer..."

"Its fine. I'm fine." she said seriously. "I don't want you to miss anymore school. Some time by myself will probably do me good."

Rory nodded, knowing her mother was probably right. That and she really did need to head back to Yale. Yesterday's escapades had really thrown her off a bit.

"Ok. Well you can always call me if you need me and I will come straight back..." she said, picking up her books and heading into her room to get her things.

"I know sweetie...thanks."

The two smiled at each other, knowing that this was best for both of them right now.

* * *

A few hours after Rory left, Lorelai was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the Television. She had so much to do, especially since she had been MIA from the inn all week. She had rung Sookie earlier, but only for a few minutes. Told her she would come in to work tomorrow to sort things out. Sookie was worried, she could tell, but she held back. Lorelai knew she could sense she didn't want to talk about it just yet. She looked at the barely touched box of noodles in front of her. She thought she was hungry so she ordered Chinese, but now just looking at it was making her feel sick. Her stomach felt like it was in knots, and there was no way she could try and shove food down right now. She sighed, picking up the phone. She had only been gone a few hours and already Lorelai missed her. Sometimes she really hated being so reliant on her 21year old daughter, especially when she knew she had her own exciting life to lead. She was in the middle of dialling when there was a loud knock on her door. She jumped, slowly getting up off the couch. She walked hesitantly to the door. She took a deep breath, opening the front door.

"Chris..." she stammered, completely caught off guard.

"Is now a bad time?"

"No...I just...thought you were someone else." she stepped aside so he could come in, shutting the door behind them. She was so sure it was going to be Luke at her door. A wave of disappointment washed over her body.

She followed his lead, sitting beside him on the couch.

"I wanted to talk to you..." he began. "About the other night..."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Its just you left in such a rush, and with Rory there and everything, we didn't get a chance to properly talk you know?"

"There's nothing to talk about Chris. I'm really sorry about what happened, and I feel terrible for doing it..." she saw the look in his eyes and she knew he wasn't going to take this lightly. She had to be clear with him. "The other night was a mistake."

"No it wasn't. I know it wasn't." he said seriously, grabbing her hand roughly.

She took her hand back from his grasp. "Yes it was. I love Luke. I am in love with Luke."

"No Lor, you called me that night and you came on to me. I don't believe for a second that you are in love with Luke. Not after the way you begged for me to love you... "

She jumped off the couch, the knot in her stomach tightening. "Look, I'm sorry about everything I did and said that night. I'm sorry for giving you the wrong idea. I was upset, and confused..."

"No you weren't. I know you love me, You always have."

"That's not true. Your putting words in my mouth..." her voice was beginning to rise. She didn't' t want to yell at him.

He got up quickly, trapping her between him and the banister of the staircase. "I can give you what he couldn't Lor. He doesn't want to marry you. I do...I always have. Marry me instead. Have the life I know you want with me."

The tears were falling fast as she saw the look in his eyes. A scary look that she hadn't noticed there before. She wasn't giving him what he wanted, and he was starting to get angry.

"I can't. I can't marry you Chris..." she said softly.

He was still looking at her, intently. In a way that was beginning to make her uncomfortable. Before she had a chance to stop him, she felt his lips crash roughly on her own. Felt his hands begin to roam her body. Felt him push her hard against the bannister.

"Chris...Stop..." she said, trying to break free of his lips.

"So what, it was ok to sleep with me the other night, but not tonight..." he asked annoyed, taking a step back from her.

"No. It was wrong of me to sleep with you the other night too." she was staring at her feet, not daring to look up at him. Before she had a chance to move, she felt his hand grip tightly around her throat. He pushed her back, slamming her into the bannister again. He looked into her eyes, shaking his head at her.

"Take that back. Tell me you love me Lor..." he said threateningly.

"I don't love you Chris. I never have..." she manage to choke out. "I'm in love with Luke...you know that."

And that was it. That comment was what eventually tipped him over the edge. He hit her. He hit her really hard. She fell out of his grip, falling lifelessly on the floor in front of him.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N Sorry its taken a while to update! Hope your still enjoying ti and you want me to keep going..._

**Chapter 7**

Lorelai called in sick to work the next morning. She told Sookie she must have had one of those 24hour bug things, and she would be right for work on Monday. She had assured Sookie that she was fine and she didn't need her to come over, she didn't want her to get it too.

Lorelai had woken up with a major headache. She knew what the headache was from. She cleared the empty wine bottles from her coffee table, dumping them near her back door. She took some pain tablets, hoping that it would stop the searing pain in her head. She went upstairs to take a shower. She caught a glance of her reflection in the mirror. Her face looked bad. Really bad. Her eye was badly swollen, and there was a yellowish bruise forming around her eyebrow. Underneath her eye was just beginning to turn purple. Her lip was split and the dry blood was pooled there, evidence of all that had happened last night. She looked like a mess. She turned the shower on, stripping off her clothes and hoping in quickly, She didn't want to look at her reflection any longer. The warm water stung her face, and slowly her tears began to mix with the water. Her face hurt. Her back hurt. Her head hurt. Everything hurt so badly.

Half an hour later, she emerged from the shower, wrapping herself in a towel and trying to avoid looking at herself in the mirror. It was hard...her bathroom had such a big mirror now. And the lights had been replaced, so she could literally see everything. Luke had insisted on those lights. He said they would be perfect for when she was doing her make-up. She suddenly wished that they hadn't changed her bathroom. Wished that she still had her small mirror, so that right now she wouldn't be looking at herself like this. She wouldn't have been able to see the bruise on her back from where she hit the banister, or the bruise on her side from where she had hit the floor, or the bruising that was starting to form around her neck from his grip. She hurried out of the bathroom, quickly putting on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. She lay down on her bed, feeling tired form the lack of sleep she had last night. She didn't remember Chris leaving, she must have blacked out for awhile. She woke up on the floor, blood on the ground beneath her. She felt as if her face was 20 times larger than it normally was. She could barely see out of her right eye. She gingerly got up, feeling sick and sore all at the same time. Her back was killing her, she could barely stand up straight. She touched her lip, taking a deep breath as she saw the blood all over her hand. She cleaned herself up in the dark. She didn't want to know what she looked like. Instead she went to the kitchen and drank. After the first bottle of wine she had managed to stop crying and the pain had become bearable. After the second bottle she felt numb, and that was exactly the feeling she was going for.

The sound of the phone ringing broke her free of her thoughts, and she leaned across her bed to grab the phone. She winced in pain as she leaned, having forgot about her injuries for a split second.

"Hello" she said, trying to sound bright.

"Mom... its me."

"Hey hon. How are you?"

"I'm ok. Are you....you kinda sound weird?" Rory asked, and Lorelai could hear the worry in her voice.

"I'm fine sweetie. I just didn't get much sleep last night." she said quickly, trying to brush off the subject.

"I thought you were going in to work today? I was just going to leave a message saying I got back to school ok."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. She had forgotten she told Rory that.

"Oh well I am...I'm just on my way now actually. Aren't you glad you caught me?" she laughed, suddenly wishing she hadn't as she had just made the pain in her back even worse.

"Of course. Well I'll let you go Mom. Have a good day."

"Bye hon. Love you"

"Love you too."

And with a click, she was gone. And Lorelai was alone again. She got up off the bed, going into the bathroom and grabbing her make up bag. She should at least see how well she could cover this up. Half an hour later she had used virtually everything in her possession, and she still felt terrible. There may have been a slight improvement...at least the dark bruises weren't quite so noticeable. She went downstairs, wondering what she was going to do all day now that she couldn't leave the house. She switched on the TV, flicking through the channels till she found an old movie she could stand to sit through right now. She went into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and seeing that it was of course, practically empty. It didn't matter, she wasn't hungry anyway. She sighed, grabbed a beer out of the fridge and went back to the couch.

* * *

Just as the movie had finished, Lorelai heard a knock at the door. She froze. She couldn't open the door. She didn't want anybody to see her like this. She heard another knock, then a voice.

"Lorelai. It's me. Can we talk please?"

Her stomach tightened as she heard his voice. It was Luke. She quickly got up, crept past the front door and went into Rory's room.

"Lorelai...I know your in there. Your Jeep's outside, and Sookie told me you were sick...."

_Damm Sookie_, she thought to herself. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't hide from Luke forever. She desperately wanted him back, and if she hid from him she might lose her chance. She didn't have much time to think about it before...

"Look I'm coming in ok? I'm worried about you..."

She heard him on the porch, then a fumbling of a key in the lock. She was trapped. She slid down against the wall, tears escaping down her cheeks. She had done such a horrible thing to him, and yet he was still here, worried about her. She put her hands over her eyes, hoping that she might be able to stop crying by the time he found her. She heard Luke's footsteps in the house and could hear his voice softly calling her name.


End file.
